This may be a rant or maybe I just need to talk through it! So here it goes…
I always thought I had a pretty good “girl group” of lifelong friends who would always be there. However, time changes people and relationships can grow stagnant when not well maintained. I still do have a few girlfriends that I met while in my 20s, though we aren’t as close now as we once were. We meet monthly for lunch or a few times a year for coffee but I know that they are always down for a chat if I need them and vice versa.
Now in my forties I find it difficult to choose other “new” women friends that I want to be around. Women whom I share interests with such as a relationship with God, children, husbands, activities, etc. aren’t so easy to come by. It seems easier these days to just choose to be without daily girlfriends since so much work must be put into finding them and maintaining a relationship.
I know I’m not an easy person to like. I have a dry sense of humor and most days I’m not even up for being a people person. Some days I get on my own nerves and often wonder how anyone else could want to be around me. But every now and then…. I need adult conversation. I am human just not the normal kind. I don’t crave attention and most of the time am pretty quiet and stick to myself. So I find it quite difficult to meet other women friends.
Do I strike up a conversation at the grocery store or at the gym? Should I join mom and wife groups on social media? What if they don’t like me or are too judgy? There are too many thoughts I can overthink when trying to find new friends.
We started going to a new church a few months ago and I’ve yet to make any real friends. Granted, I have been sick quite a bit since having our littlest. We only make it to church about every other weekend and we have had one couple try to meet up many times but it’s like something keeps coming up. Why is “adulting” so hard?
I am a member of many homeschool groups including our cover school and have had a couple play dates for my first grader. I like the other mom a lot but she seems too busy to cater to my needy self… completely understandable! Maybe I am just not willing to put in the work to making or keeping a new friend. I believe that is what it is. I feel too old and tired to try most days and too set in my ways.
I guess I will just wait it out and let God work a miracle because that will be the only way I get to make more friends I’m sure. Since talking or better yet writing through this, I will try to nurture and grow the friendships I have already made over the years and that will be enough. They all know me very, very well. We have secrets together and one of them even videoed me giving birth to my 3rd child. They know all my crazy mannerisms, and are ok if I don’t call them everyday. I love each one of my girlfriends. Sharon, Stacy, Anglela, Julie and Philomena! It’s not every day that you find a friend simply by happenstance but those are the best. They aren’t forced. Just easy friendships that are based on love, trust and honesty. I would definitely take my five lifetime best friends over none any day. I love each and every one of them!
How do you meet new friends?
Love you, Love me, Love all,
Mandy
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