A Post For Women!

A Post for Women!

Just eat the damn bagel 🥯 … then do some squats!

Why are we so hard on ourselves? We were once young and beautiful. Not a flaw in sight. We had perfect skin, hair and nails. We wore only the best and most popular clothes and even got dressed, makeup and all just to go out and check the mail. 

We grew up thinking our peers were always judging us or we were constantly comparing ourselves to others.  We dressed for success to achieve our careers. We got all dolled up to meet a mate.  We dressed sexy and stylish through our courtship to become his perfect bride.

Then… we had children. With all the sleepless nights, caring for the babies, vomit stained t-shirts, busy days of house keeping and getting food on the table… we might have gained a little weight or let ourselves go. We had no time to work out, not a single care of what to wear and no thought of the last time we showered. That my friend, is called a “mommy rut”. Don’t beat yourself up loves, it happens to the best of us. 

For most women, self scrutiny is not our friend. It can cause personal destruction if we are not careful. We must go at this from a different angle… Self Love! There are ways to dig out of the “mommy rut” hole.  Here are a few simple things to try: eating a balanced diet and doing small workouts at home or meditation with yoga. We can try healthy teas or CBD to help increase our energy. We can confide in our girlfriends or family, especially the ones that have been through the “mommy rut” before. Their words of wisdom are sometimes just what we need but can cut like a knife when we aren’t ready for change and I am truly speaking from experience. Either way, dont be afraid to ask for help before it gets out of hand like I did. 

Around 4 months after the delivery of my 3rd child, my best friend came over to visit and see the baby. She was immediately concerned that I was isolating myself in the bedroom day and night. I was eating my meals there, forgetting to shower and wasting my life away in bed. She opened my curtains, cleared my nightstand of old dishes and removed the dirty clothes from the floor. She told me to get up every morning, shower, get dressed and get out of the room during the day unless the baby is napping. She suggested I start a regimen of CBD to see if it could help increase my mood and energy and we ordered my first bottle that day. She basically told me to put my big girl panties on and get this shit done. She informed me that isolation in a dark room can lead to depression and boy was she right. I had let myself slip away into the darkness of depression without realizing. I slowly began making the changes she had suggested along with daily use of CBD and before I knew it I was out of my funk and enjoying my days… out of my bedroom. 

However, every situation is not the same. Sometimes it happens years later. We can lose ourselves very quicky in the hustling and bustling of everyday life if we aren’t careful.  We get busy with the kids and their extracurricular activities, the house and keeping up with the laundry and in turn neglect ourselves. We naturally want to nurture our loved ones and tend to put ourselves on the back burner while doing so. We can get out of this “mom rut” when we make a way to take time for ourselves. What does this look like you might ask?  This means anything that gives you rest, restoration or increases endorphins in your brain.  Treating yourself is a great way to begin this process of getting out of this rut.  Regular mani-pedis, massages or just lunch with the girls may help more than you know. Maybe you need a nap or to relax with a good book. It is ok to rest or relax when we need it. We must make time to take care of ourselves because no one else can do it for us. 

Haven’t been through either scenario? I’ve got more. Im almost positive you’ve gone through one of these. What if it’s not just about the kids or the husband?  We can lose ourselves in break-ups, divorces and even the death of a loved one.  We pour our heart and soul into the relationship expecting a future with others all to have it ripped away in a matter of seconds. It was unexpected or it’s been a long time coming. Either way,  the hurt is the same. We are broken hearted over the loss of this person or relationship. The problem is that we were never taught how to move forward.  The most common way we deal with these types of situations is to make our way to the couch, sit in front of the TV armed with unhealthy snacks and booze.  We cry, eat and drink until the hurt subsides enough to try and move on. This could take days, weeks, months or even years. We have lost ourselves without even knowing. We let the world pass us by, day by day slipping into a “heartbreak rut” that seems impossible to get out of. I have been there done that sister. I gained weight, rarely showered and didn’t even think of leaving the house much less talking to anyone. In order to move forward we need to mourn the relationship or the death of our loved one and begin to live life again. We must learn how to love again. Who and how you might ask?  Ourselves! We must learn to love ourselves enough to pull our chunky butts off the couch and into the shower. We need sunshine and healthy foods. We need exercise and people again. We may even need a therapist and that is ok too. You may not be able to do this alone but don’t be afraid to ask for help. This is not always an easy task but as women we are powerful human beings.  Once our mind is made up we rarely budge. We are stronger than our thoughts and will always get through this!

We can lose ourselves in our careers. We go to college and get the degree. We work our way up the corporate ladder to our dream job and have no time for anything but work. And so again, we lose ourselves to the “working rut”. I’m not telling you to quit your job! Im just a firm believer that there must be some type of balance in every aspect of our lives whether career, home, friends or taking care of yourself. We can have it all but we have to come to terms with the fact that a harmonious life doesn’t just happen. Your life is what you make it. Only you have the power to change it for your happiness. Which is why I love working from home. It makes it alot easier for things to flow the way I like them to. No early morning wake ups and time to relax when needed.

Listen, I could go on for days about where and how women let ourselves go or lose ourselves. My main point is to always love yourself through it all!❤️ 

I am a firm believer that we all deserve happiness but it is only our job to make it happen. Sometimes we may not have control over things happening however we can control how we react to them. We must love ourselves enough to want only the best… it’s what we deserve. 

I am no expert on the subject. I can only speak from experience in hopes to help someone else. 

Until we meet again…

Love You, Love Me, Love All

Mandy ❤️ 

Contact Me: [email protected] 

Disclaimer: I am not a physician nor do I claim that any products I mention will heal you.