Why do I always feel like I am not enough? Is it because I feel so much is expected of me? Who’s expectations are these? My husbands? Nope! My children? Nope! Mine? Probably. And why do I feel like a big fat failure daily? Is it because I don’t always accomplish everything I feel I should have? Do you ever feel this way or is it just me?
I must cook so therefore I am a…. Chef, keep a clean house and laundry done… Housekeeper,kids taken care of… Nanny, grocery shopping and pharmacy trips… Personal Shopper, play dates and outings… Uber Driver, take care of 2 cats and 1 large dog… Groomer, go to church… Role Model, family day at the in-laws… Intentional Living and the list could go on for days.
After 3 college degrees and 20 years of Nursing, I retired to be a stay home mom or as some like to call it, a homemaker. Some days I feel like I’m crushing it and others I’m at a total loss. There are no days off… ever! On top of all of it, I am now working from home. I am back to writing daily and sell digital marketing programs that teach other moms how to make money from home. Don’t get me wrong. I am extremely thankful that I can work from home and produce extra funds for my family but it does add to the daily stress of things.
First of all, being a mom is a full time job in itself. Getting sick and staying in bed all day is not an option. Rarely do I get sick, but when I do, I drink hot tea with honey and pop a couple DayQuil and keep on moving. Secondly if I miss a day of laundry or dishes I will spend the entire next day playing catch up. Third, our dog is a German Shepherd and Black Lab mix. She is so beautiful and the best guard dog I could’ve asked for. However, she sheds a whole dog every single day. I have to vacuum our house typically twice a day and I mop two to three times a week. There is at no point something in my home that doesn’t need to be picked up, put away, cleaned, mopped or wiped. There is always a chore that can be done.
Now don’t get me wrong as I am not complaining about the things I do daily. I love my life and the fact I am able to stay home with our girls and teach them what we want them to know. I am simply stating that I am my own worst enemy and rarely feel like I’ve done enough. If I go to bed with the house in disarray, I will awake with a feeling of defeat. However, picking everything up before bed and waking to a clean home allows me a sense of calmness. I can sit peacefully enjoying my morning coffee without the need to rush around and clean first thing upon waking.
I am not the kind of stay home mom who sits around and does nothing all day. I am typically a high energy person and thrive on increased noise around me. We are extremely active during the day with play or learning activities and try to get outside 2-3 hours daily if not more. We go on outings to the park, the beach, hiking or nature trails often. I try and get household chores done in the early morning hours and late evening in order to have the middle of the day dedicated to our daughters.
I am learning to let some things go for short periods of time. In doing this I am able to have more quality time with the family as the kids will only be this little for a short while. We make lots of memories and are always trying new experiences. I have to remind myself that I am only one person and it is normal to not be perfect. It is ok to enjoy life and take breaks without feeling guilty that some household chores did not get done. The dust will be there for another day and that is ok.
Writing my gratitude list and affirmations daily is helpful. It reminds me of what is most important in my life. I know that as long as I’m doing my best, I am enough! I am more than enough. I am strong. I am beautiful. I am loved. I am enough!
A day in the life of me may not resonate with everyone. I do know that as women we question whether we are enough in our careers, at home and with family or friends along with most daily tasks we face. This is just a reminder to you and me that no matter what our days may look like ahead… we are enough!
Love You, Love Me, Love All
Mandy
Contact email: [email protected]
Do you ever feel like this? Feel free to comment on this topic!